What my setup will soon be for hardware: Gen 2 AMD epic 16 core CPU, Supermicro motherboard with lots of pcie slots, 128g ram, Intel arc a40 GPU, HBA card attached to a super micro disk shelf
Software: Proxmox for host is, Truenas Scale (just NAS) in VM with HBA card passed into VM, Plex in VM with Intel GPU passed in, 3 VMs for docker swarm (headless Debian)
Other thoughts: Cloud flare will only be helpful for things you want exposed to the internet. If you do that make sure you have a reverse proxy. This is how I expose services for non-tech family.
VPN will be more secure, but can also be more of a pain. I generally only do that for things only I need or only techy savvy people will use.
The best shot for that any time soon would be Qualcomm’s ARM laptops. But it doesn’t seem like they are prepared to deliver what is necessary to make that happen currently. I think they under estimated how much software/driver work was necessary to compete.