I’ve got a variant of this one about 15 times (minus the picture of my house). I sometimes read it out to my partner for the luls. I never keep a web cam attached to my computer, so I find it even more hilarious with the details they go into about my jerking activities and the questionable porn I watch (everything I enjoy is insanely tame lol)
You are so clearly the exception is should not even have to be made clear.